Two Sides To Every Story! Hilarious

A bit of a spat has broken out between a young (brilliant) entrepreneur; James Watt, who along with his partner Martin Dickie co-founded BrewDog, a craft brewer based in Edinburgh and The Portman Group - a mighty and worthy organisation who spend their time ensuring alcohol is marketed responsibly in the UK.

The role of the Portman Group is to:

• Lead on best practice in alcohol social responsibility through the actions of member companies.
• Regulate the promotion and packaging of alcoholic drinks sold or marketed in the UK through our Code of Practice.
• Challenge and encourage the industry to market its products responsibly.

The group is a not-for-profit organisation funded by nine member companies who represent every sector of drinks production and collectively account for more than half the UK alcohol market.

However, young James, (a Law and Economics graduate before changing careers and becoming a brewery owner) issued a somewhat unusual and perhaps irreverent (some would say hilarious, but I couldn’t possible comment) response as follows;
"On behalf of BrewDog PLC and its 14,691 individual shareholders, I would like to issue a formal apology to the Portman Group for not giving a shit about today’s ruling. Indeed, we are sorry for never giving a shit about anything the Portman Group has to say, and treating all of its statements with callous indifference and nonchalance.

Unfortunately, the Portman Group is a gloomy gaggle of killjoy jobs-worths, funded by navel-gazing international drinks giants. Their raison d’être is to provide a diversion for the true evils of this industry, perpetrated by the gigantic faceless brands that pay their wages. Blinkered by this soulless mission, they treat beer drinkers like brain-dead zombies and vilify creativity and competition. Therefore, we have never given a second thought to any of the grubby newspeak they disseminate periodically.

While the Portman Group lives out its days deliberating whether a joke on a bottle of beer is responsible or irresponsible use of humour, at BrewDog we will just get on with brewing awesome beer and treating our customers like adults. I’m sure that makes Henry Ashworth cry a salty tear into his shatterproof tankard of Directors as he tries to enforce his futile and toothless little marketing code, but we couldn’t give a shit about that, either.

The Portman Group took objection to the phrase "rip it up down empty streets"? Mr Portman, you seem to like taking things literally. Can you please explain how something can be 'anti-social' if the streets are empty? Anti-social is defined as 'contrary to the laws and customs of society, in a way that causes annoyance and disapproval in others.' If the streets are empty, there are no 'others' to annoy".

I haven’t as yet seen any response from the Portman Group! Great Eh? Whose side are you on?


Martin Read CMBII
Managing Director of www.inn-dispensable.com Personal Licence Courses