World’s Strongest Beer – A Cheap Publicity Stunt?

Brewmeister – a small Scottish craft brewery is the love child of two intrepid brewers, Lewis and John, who were bored of watery tasting lagers and boring beers

Their idea to open a brewery, which fused Scottish malts with German yeast, came about on the beautiful west coast of Scotland on a camping trip. Three months later, the guys had signed the lease on an old farm building and bought old dairy tanks to begin brewing. Nearly two years on, they have moved to a custom built brewery in Speyside, they now employ nearly 20 people and export around the world. Their passion is creating beers with a difference, which excites the taste buds and energises the soul; they wish Peace and love to all!

I think you’d have got a lot of peace and love from one of their recent brews - ‘Snake & Venom’ - which claimed an ABV of 67.5%, and which fell foul of the Advertising Standards Agency!! The ASA criticised their 67.5% claim because there was no clarity as to how the 67.5% was achieved – they suspected Ethyl Alcohol may have been added! The ASA have also suggested that future products from Brewmeister shouldn’t place an over-emphasis on the strength of the product! Wonder why?

Of course many have criticised Brewmeister for creating “The world’s strongest beer” simply as a cheap publicity stunt. But a recent counter-comment from Lewis Shand would seem to add credence to these claims – “We’re hoping to win people back with taste, not mad PR stunts like we have done before”.

A quick search of their online shop reveals that this particular brew is currently no longer available to buy, so it would appear that Brewmeister may have seen the error of their ways. Which is a bit of a shame, as I would have liked to have tried just a tooth-full!

At a time when most of the rest of the industry is reducing alcohol strengths to help combat the adverse effect of alcohol (and keep government off their backs) thank the Lord for companies like these who show that we really do live in a great nation where diversity and individuality reigns … if only temporarily!


Martin Read CMBII
Managing Director of Inn-Dispensable Personal Licence Courses

Windsor Nightclub Takes Alcohol Retailing to a New Low

Some bright spark (without authority, apparently) thought it a great idea to tweet the message below with picture to ‘market and sell’ the delights of spending a night in this club, which is a stones throw for HM’s Berkshire residency (not sure if she is a regular client, possibly not. Andrew might be though).

“Want to end up like her? We're giving away a free booth to groups of girls this Friday. Direct message us”. The image shows a seemingly comatose woman wearing just thong underwear and sprawled out on her front surrounded by drink bottles.

So all of the tremendous work the industry has done to promote ‘responsibly retailing of alcohol’ seems to be lost on these individuals - both the person who tweeted and the lady (hic) in the photo.

The management of the premises have apologised unreservedly and no doubt the culprit is getting an enormous boll*cking! Not sure if the lady has been swooped up by some lucky groom!

Talk about giving the anti-alcohol brigade ammunition!


Martin Read CMBII
Managing Director of Inn-Dispensable Personal Licence Courses

Two Sides To Every Story! Hilarious

A bit of a spat has broken out between a young (brilliant) entrepreneur; James Watt, who along with his partner Martin Dickie co-founded BrewDog, a craft brewer based in Edinburgh and The Portman Group - a mighty and worthy organisation who spend their time ensuring alcohol is marketed responsibly in the UK.

The role of the Portman Group is to:

• Lead on best practice in alcohol social responsibility through the actions of member companies.
• Regulate the promotion and packaging of alcoholic drinks sold or marketed in the UK through our Code of Practice.
• Challenge and encourage the industry to market its products responsibly.

The group is a not-for-profit organisation funded by nine member companies who represent every sector of drinks production and collectively account for more than half the UK alcohol market.

However, young James, (a Law and Economics graduate before changing careers and becoming a brewery owner) issued a somewhat unusual and perhaps irreverent (some would say hilarious, but I couldn’t possible comment) response as follows;
"On behalf of BrewDog PLC and its 14,691 individual shareholders, I would like to issue a formal apology to the Portman Group for not giving a shit about today’s ruling. Indeed, we are sorry for never giving a shit about anything the Portman Group has to say, and treating all of its statements with callous indifference and nonchalance.

Unfortunately, the Portman Group is a gloomy gaggle of killjoy jobs-worths, funded by navel-gazing international drinks giants. Their raison d’être is to provide a diversion for the true evils of this industry, perpetrated by the gigantic faceless brands that pay their wages. Blinkered by this soulless mission, they treat beer drinkers like brain-dead zombies and vilify creativity and competition. Therefore, we have never given a second thought to any of the grubby newspeak they disseminate periodically.

While the Portman Group lives out its days deliberating whether a joke on a bottle of beer is responsible or irresponsible use of humour, at BrewDog we will just get on with brewing awesome beer and treating our customers like adults. I’m sure that makes Henry Ashworth cry a salty tear into his shatterproof tankard of Directors as he tries to enforce his futile and toothless little marketing code, but we couldn’t give a shit about that, either.

The Portman Group took objection to the phrase "rip it up down empty streets"? Mr Portman, you seem to like taking things literally. Can you please explain how something can be 'anti-social' if the streets are empty? Anti-social is defined as 'contrary to the laws and customs of society, in a way that causes annoyance and disapproval in others.' If the streets are empty, there are no 'others' to annoy".

I haven’t as yet seen any response from the Portman Group! Great Eh? Whose side are you on?


Martin Read CMBII
Managing Director of www.inn-dispensable.com Personal Licence Courses

Beer Vending Machine Installed In London Pub

And now we have it! The introduction in a London pub, of the first beer vending machine to be installed in the UK. No further need to even talk to the friendly, highly-trained, knowledgeable and interesting person behind the bar when getting your beverage. Instead, you can simply put your pound coins into a machine, return to a lonely corner of the pub and sip your vended ale, and not talk to anyone all before going home to eat a pre packed dinner from Tesco.

I’m all for innovation but surely this Japanese-inspired machine is not the way forward?

Apparently, in Japan these machines are hugely popular, and reputedly Japan has a 1 to 50 ratio of vending machines to humans - the highest ratio on the planet.

I rather like talking to the Governor in the pub; so not too sure it will lift off in the Cotswolds!


Martin Read CMBII
Managing Director of Inn-Dispensable Personal Licence Courses

What is the future for pubs?

I keep reading the trade press and this is a question posed and answered by many 'experts', most of whom have never worked in a pub, lived in a pub, owned a pub, run a pub, been an area manger for pubs, been a director running pubs and so on. None of this makes their opinions less worthy but makes them a bit like all of the greatest footballers who are on the terraces advising Ronaldo how to kick a ball.

Some of the future is simple to predict:

There will be those nationally branded pubs offering a national script. Some driven by location, some by food, some by price, some by music, some by sport, some by image etc. All will have high standards of cleanliness, service (Have a nice day types) and procedures. None will have a predominant 'manager' stamping his or her own identity on the outlet, rather they will be programmed to deliver the company massage and brand. They will have the latest technology to market their 'product' and attract customers.

Nothing wrong with all this which works perfectly well, hugely successful brands; see JD Wetherspoon, Beefeater, Best Bar None et al.

There will be rough tough pubs catering for rough tough people run by rough tough landlords in rough tough areas, nothing wrong with this either, and can be very profitable for landlords who run them – providing they can tolerate the occasional black eye. Good for the police because they know where all of the villains will be drinking, good for other pubs because the rough guys are kept away from their doors.

There will be more high-end "posh pubs", run by posh people for posh customers in posh areas: expensive menus, expensive drinks, expensive rooms, expensive everything. Mostly 'rich mans hobbies' for those who have made a load of dosh and wish to demonstrate it and have a place to entertain their mates, pose a little and make a few more quid.

There will be niche pubs, run by aficionados of whatever; cask ale, tapas, sixties music, dating, gay, stamp collectors, butterfly collectors, who knows what. I reckon all of that lot take care of about 20000 pubs, leaving around 30000 to try and survive – and this is where the great heroes of the industry come into their own!

When I were lad and grew up in our family pub my dad used to tell me "son, running a pub is like having a party in your house 365 days a year, the only difference is that you don’t get to chose who comes to the party".

So to survive (and prosper) there will need to be "personality pubs" run by those with great personalities (like my dad!). Customers will chose to go to them because of who runs them, they will be hosts and treat customers as friends and guests, those who misbehave will be banned, the customer profile of such pubs will reflect the landlords who run them (you are who you attract). These Landlords will of course have to do all of the right things in terms of product range, cleanliness, good staff, right pricing, social marketing and everything else that more discerning customers will demand, but mostly they will have to be "The Host with the Most". This will take great energy, presence, tolerance, empathy, intelligence, drive, passion and character.

My dad also told me "son, this is show business". I well remember him and my mum looking so exhausted on a daily basis, that is until the "lights came on" (in other words the pub opened), then all were welcomed as if they had been away for three years. I know it is a cliché but it really has to be 'a way of life'.

That’s the way to do it, but can we find 30000 couples prepared to do so?


Martin Read CMBII
Managing Director of Inn-Dispensable Personal Licence Courses

Knowledgeable Bar Staff Sell More Beer

Fred, a long way from home, popped into the Dog and Duck, longing for a pint of good traditional 'real beer' (call it cask ale, call it hand pulled, call it cask conditioned, call it non fizz, call it dry hopped) call it what you like but the essence is that it is brewed naturally and is created from only four main ingredients:

• Hops – to add flavour and aroma
• Malt – to provide fermentable sugars
• Liquor – the brewer’s name for water
• Yeast – to start the fermentation process

Each individual brewer then puts his or her 'Chef’s Hat' on and brews to their own recipe. That's why the fabulous range and diversity of Cask Ales exists within the pub world. Different flavours, colours, strengths, hops, barley, liquor (water), tastes, head retention (the foam), different lacing (the foam as it sticks to the glass), different smell, different glasses to serve it in, different methods of dispense (top fill, bottom fill), different knowledge needed to understand its constitution et al. And all information available for hundreds of beers via Cyclops!

Cyclops Beer is a way of describing beer so that you can find out quickly and easily what a beer will look, smell and taste like. It tells you whether a beer is hoppy or sweet and helps you to discover what you like and what you don’t, so that choosing a beer becomes easier in the future.

British beer is incredibly varied with a whole host of different styles and tastes. Cyclops will help you to discover more about the many thousands of different beers available and make your choice at the bar easier. So are you a hophead, a sweet tooth or a balance of both? Is your favourite beer dark and smoky or golden and grapefruity? Over 1500 beers have been 'Cyclopsed'.

Back to Fred, he looked along the bar counter and saw three choices of Cask Ale on sale. Now, since he was well away from his home territory he had never come across any of them. He asked the bar person to take him through the range and what do you know, the bar person had no idea! Now Fred figured that if they don't know about the beer they sell, then they probably don’t look after it too well either, so he left and went to the Kings Head along the road - where he found a bar person who knew their stuff (It ain't rocket science).

So come on you Landlords, train your staff to be knowledgeable (knowledge is power). Come on an Inn-Dispensable Beer Quality course, learn how to sell the highest quality beer and use Cyclops to impress your customers and keep them from going elsewhere!

Beat your local competition by selling top quality products with top quality knowledge. And all of you customers; get more demanding, ask staff for advice, see what they know. You wouldn’t buy a new computer without expert advice I’ll bet!

Alcohol Advertising Ban in Blackpool

There is little doubt that Britain's Las Vegas, Blackpool, is under pressure to maintain its long and hard earned reputation for fun and frolics. It might soon become the ghost town of closed saloons! The lights might go on shining but there will be little fun to be had.

The council there are now seeking to ban all alcohol advertising outside of pubs. Additionally, they're also looking to ban many licensed outlets from remaining open after 3.00am, known as an EMRO (an Early Morning Restriction Order).

So signs of "Fine Ales", "Cask Condition Ales sold here", "Enjoy a Pint of Fine Ale" et al could become a thing of yesteryear in the bastillion town of good Northern beer!

At a council scrutiny committee meeting recently the members concluded that advertising alcohol "helps encourage an acceptance of drinking and re-enforces positive images of alcohol". Well what do you know, that is the very purpose! They have a concern that young people in particular are enticed by such advertising and are seduced into excess consumption.

I am all for the responsible retailing and consumption of alcohol, and the industry really is doing lots to educate the younger drinker of the perils, but introducing more and more laws and restrictions will only serve to make alcohol itself appear like stolen fruit and stolen fruit as we all know is much more attractive!

Education, Education, Education is the answer, not legislation

Tips for Promoting Pub Trade When The Sun Stops Shining

It has often been said that the greatest salesman for the pub trade is the sunshine. No doubt about it, a sunny day encourages many to pop down the pub for a refreshing pint. So what do we do when the clocks go back, the sun stops shining and those dark dreary nights are upon us? Well, what we do is lay on great events for pub goers to enjoy!

Do you know that eight out of ten people count themselves as “pub goers” and that fifteen million (yes million) visit the pub once a week. The campaign “Its better down the pub” (see my previous blogs) continues to encourage people to support their 'local' more.

There are some great dates coming up: Halloween is now the third largest party date in the pub calendar (after Christmas and Easter), followed by Bonfire Night - when many pubs lay on a firework display. The month of November is re-named “Movember” when men across the world grow moustaches to raise money and awareness for male health charities - much of which happens “down the pub”. 'Cask Ale Week' happens to promote the quality and variety of Cask Ale. And then of course the Christmas season. These are all 'special dates', and so many pubs now lay on really imaginative fun activities to celebrate them.

So look out for what is happening in your local and get on down there!

Martin Read CMBII
Managing Director of Inn-Dispensable Personal Licence Courses

Key Points to Running a Successful Pub - From a Winner

How refreshing to read of Mahdis Neghabian experience of being a judge in this years BII’s Licensee of the Year, having herself triumphed last year.

Here are some of the reflections she makes; The competition forces you to:
Turn the mirror onto your own business and ultimately improve it
Be original
Be innovative
Examine all aspects of the following:-
    •    Socially responsible alcohol retailing
    •    Customer service
    •    Marketing
    •    Using new media effectively
Take a step back to view your business as the customer views it

I knew we have been doing something right at Inn-Dispensable because we've been featuring all of these messages (and more) within our courses for the last 20 years. The challenge is to get more licensees like Mahdis to actually DO IT!

Martin Read CMBII
Managing Director of Inn-Dispensable Personal Licence Training